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astralisI seem to have an amazing inability to write SG-1 fic. Or possibly an amazing inability to write anything at the moment, considering the two tantalizingly close to finished Mal/Kaylee fics that are the back burner because I don't like them as they are and don't have the energy or the inclination to fix them.
I'm trying to write Jack/Sam. I like Jack and Sam angsty, because they're screwed up with messed up lives, but everything I write turns out fluffy. I'm sure they have fluffy moments, but I don't want to write fluff.
And I can't write more than five sentences of Jack/Sam/Daniel before I feel compelled to delete the lot. Jack/Sam/Daniel works for me in a way most other threesomes don't - I usually go for threesomes because they're hot (Jack/Kate/Sawyer) but Jack/Sam/Daniel is hot and it works, because they're Jack and Sam and Daniel.
Venting, maybe. Nick and Sara came so easily, when I was writing them, and I think I compare everything now to my N/S days, when I could sit down and produce something good in an afternoon. I think partly I'm more aware of trying not to reiterate the same points and issues all over again, which I think is part of the reason I have trouble with Mal/Kaylee ideas now - I feel like I covered so much in "You Will Know When You Get There" that it's like I've done post-Serenity Mal/Kaylee and I have a mental block of sorts on it. I think I have higher standards now too and I'm more critical of my own work, more focused on getting it just right. I think a lot of that comes from writing in the Firefly 'verse, where the characters have such distinctive voices and their syntax is so different from ours. I have never spent so much time editing a fic as I did "You Will Know When You Get There", changing the ending several times and going over and over it, changing a word here and adding one there.
Maybe my problem with SG-1 fic is that it's been done before, and it's been done well. The general standard of Nick/Sara fic is atrocious, with the exceptions of the good people on my flist (as you lot understand the concepts of grammar and spelling and characterization), and it was easy to write them how I saw them and not feel like I was stepping on anyone's toes and writing a story everyone had seen before. It was easy not to worry about being "good enough", because there was so much that drove me nuts about the usual conventions of Nick/Sara fic and so I just avoided those like the plague and all was good. But SG-1 has been around for so long - into its tenth season now - and I've read so much fic it's hard to find a new angle, a new way to say something that's been said a hundred times. I guess I feel like Jack and Sam and Daniel aren't quite mine, like I'm sharing the toys with all the other kids, and the other kids can make them work better than I can, can make them do what they're supposed to do.
But, for all that rambling, I don't really know what my problem is. I wouldn't call it writers' block, because that to me is not being able to write anything. It does feel like something's not right though, like all the words I try are cheesy and cliched and so the atmosphere falls flat and nothing's how I wanted it to be. I write things in my head and think, "maybe this time..." but as soon as I see the words on the screen they seem worthless. I don't know what the cure is or how to make things work again. Maybe this happens sometimes, I don't know. It just frustrates me.
So. Venting over.
I'm trying to write Jack/Sam. I like Jack and Sam angsty, because they're screwed up with messed up lives, but everything I write turns out fluffy. I'm sure they have fluffy moments, but I don't want to write fluff.
And I can't write more than five sentences of Jack/Sam/Daniel before I feel compelled to delete the lot. Jack/Sam/Daniel works for me in a way most other threesomes don't - I usually go for threesomes because they're hot (Jack/Kate/Sawyer) but Jack/Sam/Daniel is hot and it works, because they're Jack and Sam and Daniel.
Venting, maybe. Nick and Sara came so easily, when I was writing them, and I think I compare everything now to my N/S days, when I could sit down and produce something good in an afternoon. I think partly I'm more aware of trying not to reiterate the same points and issues all over again, which I think is part of the reason I have trouble with Mal/Kaylee ideas now - I feel like I covered so much in "You Will Know When You Get There" that it's like I've done post-Serenity Mal/Kaylee and I have a mental block of sorts on it. I think I have higher standards now too and I'm more critical of my own work, more focused on getting it just right. I think a lot of that comes from writing in the Firefly 'verse, where the characters have such distinctive voices and their syntax is so different from ours. I have never spent so much time editing a fic as I did "You Will Know When You Get There", changing the ending several times and going over and over it, changing a word here and adding one there.
Maybe my problem with SG-1 fic is that it's been done before, and it's been done well. The general standard of Nick/Sara fic is atrocious, with the exceptions of the good people on my flist (as you lot understand the concepts of grammar and spelling and characterization), and it was easy to write them how I saw them and not feel like I was stepping on anyone's toes and writing a story everyone had seen before. It was easy not to worry about being "good enough", because there was so much that drove me nuts about the usual conventions of Nick/Sara fic and so I just avoided those like the plague and all was good. But SG-1 has been around for so long - into its tenth season now - and I've read so much fic it's hard to find a new angle, a new way to say something that's been said a hundred times. I guess I feel like Jack and Sam and Daniel aren't quite mine, like I'm sharing the toys with all the other kids, and the other kids can make them work better than I can, can make them do what they're supposed to do.
But, for all that rambling, I don't really know what my problem is. I wouldn't call it writers' block, because that to me is not being able to write anything. It does feel like something's not right though, like all the words I try are cheesy and cliched and so the atmosphere falls flat and nothing's how I wanted it to be. I write things in my head and think, "maybe this time..." but as soon as I see the words on the screen they seem worthless. I don't know what the cure is or how to make things work again. Maybe this happens sometimes, I don't know. It just frustrates me.
So. Venting over.
